Everything changes with Time!

It’s sometimes strange how some relationships turn around in life. Most of us would have had an unexpected twist in relationships, whether it been friendship, love, family. Everyone changes with time and relationships changes as people involved changes.

We would have seen close friendships fade away with time and busy life. The person who was once the love of life is now just someone you used to know. Close siblings become rivals. On the other side, there are also relationships that grow over time. A  person you meet online becomes a big part of life or the rival sibling grows close as they grow old. we just don’t know how the relationship will turn into future.

We lose friendship mostly because we get busy with life. One of the most first relationships that a person forms with the society are with his friends. Everyone would have had a close friend in his school or college days, the one person who was there throughout the school or college days in every fun and every trouble. The friends who were inseparable through the school days would have lost track when they moved out to a different college. Life gets busy and the communication with the old friends just fades out and finally, we lose track. That is just how life works. But a good friendship will not die. It just lives fresh forever even though the friends don’t communicate for years. When the friends really care for each other, they don’t lose track, just the communication between them gets lesser. They stay informed about the each other’s life, they know what is going on with each other, just that they don’t speak daily. Even after years without communication they can pick the phone and start where they left off, that is the real power of friendship.

Basically, the communications keep persons close, men being a social animal needs other men to survive. Men may have moved from caves to modern cities but his instincts still remain the same. Never hesitate to make a phone call to a long lost friend, friends don’t need a reason to call each other. Friends don’t have egos and they don’t keep tab of counting who always makes the call or who always calls first. so just pick up the phone and dial the number of a long lost friend whom you miss! For sure you would be happy you did it!

 

Friendzone- The yellow light.

Some relationships in life will not always go the way we wanted, whether it is a simple relation with a neighbour next door or with a friend or with the someone special in life. There is a time in each relationship where one feels neglected or mistreated. The better way to solve all the problem is with an open mind conversation. The conversation is better when both people sit down with the mind of ending the differences rather than just to have a talk. Limited the number of people the better the conversation goes.

If we see a love relationship as the traffic signal, the green for a love relationship and red for no relationship. There is this yellow where you can decide on whether to drive fast to cross the traffic lights or just stop at the traffic. The only difference here is the decision to make because in every relationship there is only one traffic signal and the lights get off once the decision is made. The best part is once you decide the red, you have to take a different route altogether if you decide to cross the yellow light, the traffic light may turn red or if you are lucky to green. But you never know which colour the light is going to change.

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Sometimes you see a person and feel the positive vibes of a good connection with them. Luckily you get to know them better and with time they become a special person in life or just you feel they are special to you. Become good friends, you hang out with them often and you really enjoy having them around. You know you are falling for them and even try to express it in a more subtle way when you are around them. They are most aware of what is going on ( least you think so! ) and does not react the way you want them to. The situation here could be anything from wrong communication to being friend zoned.

You cannot just get out of such relationships so easy. The only way to go ahead here is to communicate or verbalise your feeling for them. Even then this can take make or break the relationship altogether. If they also have the same feeling for you and just not sure of what other thinks then communicating will take the relationship to a new path. In the dark side when you express your feeling and they don’t want the same things as you do then it could end up in the disaster of losing that person for life.

You might have a million thoughts going through in your head in deciding how to get out of this friend zone in the relationship. Relationships are always two-way. The love and affection should flow both ways for a happy relationship. It cannot be just you having all the feeling and the person on the other side is cool being just friends. It totally depends on how deep is your feeling for the other. There is a humungous change of misreading the other when you develop feelings. You might take everything that comes your way as a good sign to support your feeling but that could have just been a kind gesture. So better get clarified.

At times the yellow light seems perfectly fine. You are allowed all the friends and more privileges here, you can be that over-caring friend. You can still hang out with each other or just two of you and enjoy each others company. You can enjoy having that special person around you. You get to voice out your mind with a friends tone! Sometimes when we are not very sure about the others feelings and does not want to break or lose it all, being friend zoned is not a bad thing. The best thing about this yellow light is that you can always test the waters before getting a plunge.

Relationships are hard but worth every effort you put into it. It is a great feeling that someone cares for you not because they made you, they care just because they like you the way you are! The only thing with the relationship is the never ending effort it requires but those are the not too hard if you get a person who is worth loving every day and you are lucky if that special person makes you feel loved the same way you love them.

 

A beautiful friendship I lost!

Friendship is a wonderful feeling, we don’t plan on being friends it just happens. It is said the friendship we make in college lasts for the lifetime. The college time is a time where we are carefree and have nothing to worry about. All worries about the future start at the last year though. The friendships made in college either stays strong for life or leave a mark in the heart.

True-Friendship-Bible-Study

It was one such friendship that just happened immediately. We attached so instantly that we were inseparable after the first meeting. I just happened to walk over to my friend’s room and ran into Prabu. He was my friend’s new roommate. We started talking and very soon learned he was on the same course as me. There was an immediate connection.

The next morning when I was about to leave for class, I just walked over to his room to see whether I could get a company to walk the way to the class. He was in his room getting clothed and I waited till he was ready and we walked to the class. That’s how it all started, after that day, I never walked into the class without him on my side. We always sat beside each other in the class. He was very good in multitasking. He could listen to the lectures, take notes and carry out a conversation with me all at the same time. while I would very busy in the conversation with him during the lectures.

After the first week, he switched room to become my roommate in the hostel. We became so close to each other. We had breakfast, lunch, and dinner together every day. He was a quick learner and a very good sportsman. He was damn good at all the sports he played. He had a good heart too, he would be the first one to run to help a person in need. He was one of the most liked boys of hostel and college. He was so loving and caring. He got me at my best and the worst. He was able to understand my mind even before I uttered a word. He was the one I trusted with all my secrets. We used to talk a lot and he almost knows every story of my life at that point and I knew his.

We shared so many memories together. He always motivated me and believed in me more than I ever did. It’s because of his support and motivation I was able to take up some big responsibilities at the department level in college. He had big dreams for me, he always wanted me to crack some good software company interview and be placed in a good job. Evidently which I did accomplish and he was not around to see the moment.

It was our final semester at the degree program and we were supposed to do some industrial training as part of the curriculum. When the whole of our class chose to do the training in Chennai, I got an internship at my brother’s company in Bangalore. He and other friend got an internship in Bangalore. It was good to have him in the same city I was in. Though days changed and we spent most of the time apart, we met every evening. I used to take a bus which was a little longer route and met him for dinner every night. We used to share about our day and talk about everything we could think of. Those were happy days.

One fine day, he called me to tell that he was feeling so tired and weak, that he was taking a few days off and going to his parents. Those were the early days of mobile phones in India, where the cell reception was not available in every city. After that call, he left to his parents. We were not in constant touch as the mode of communication was a problem due to bad cell reception at his parents. We got to talk once in two weeks or so. By this time our internship was over and we were in our job hunting. He went to his parents and met with the doctor as he was feeling so tired day by day.

I was not aware of his health condition and it seems he was getting worse every day. We only used to talk on the phone and he always said he was just fine and enjoying his rest. I did not expect him to have a life-threatening illness at that point. Months passed and I was only aware of what he said about himself and his health. He never said anything so serious. Finally, one day learned he was admitted to a hospital in Chennai from his little brother.

I went to the hospital to see him with our friends and he was not the person I have seen in college. He had lost a lot of weight and had lost a lot of hair. From the hospital nurses, we learned that he had cancer and he was in his final stages. It was heartbreaking news when I learned it. My friends and I were heartbroken, some of the friends even started to wet their eyes. At that moment we decided to spend as much a the time we could with him. My friends and I went to visit his at the hospital daily, used to spend a couple of hours with him. Even when the drips and blood been injected into his body he was pretty active and listened to what I talked to him. Those twenty days were so hard to see him like that, a guy whom I have seen winning matches in the field was losing his life to cancer.

One afternoon I received a call from his little brother saying he passed away. I was stunned and shocked. Though my brain knows this day would come my heart was not able to accept it. Though I felt a relief, I thought it was good for him at least now he was free from all the pain his body was going through. At his funeral, most of our friends broke down to tears. I was mostly trying to control my tears. I thought I am not going to slip away all his memories through my tears. It’s all his memories I had left of him. To say I was angry with him for doing this to me. The thoughts I had that time was so weird when I think of it now.

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I did cry my eyes out on the day I received my joining order of my job at the software concern he dreamed for me. His loss hit me so bad, that I started losing hope in friendships. I avoided making new friends for about 2 years. I tried to hold close to the friends I had left. But time heals things. Time did not make me forget him, it just taught me to live without his friendship. He just became a part of my every password. Each time I type in a password I remember him and till day miss him badly. It made me understand there was no use to stay mad at him. It made me appreciate the time I had with him and treasure all the memories I have of him.

When a person passes away we are only left with the memories of them. Those memories become our treasure. I am glad I have a ton of memories with him and will always cherish those for life.

The little things that matter the most

It’s always the little things that matter the most. The little things that we do for others define us, that tells the others what kind of person we are and how much we value the other. These little things are the ones that we do without putting much thought into it.

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Waking up to a good morning text from a loved one is one just example. The text would just read “Good Morning” but it means “you are one of the first things I think in the morning”. It just shows the one who sends the text remembers and care for us.

Sometimes it’s more than just what we do, it’s how we react. The genuine smile that lights up our face when we see our loved one or the cute smile that we see in our loved ones face when they spot us for the first time in the day.  That smile just lifts the mood of the day showing how they feel about seeing you.

The Hug that we share with the people we care, personally the hug when we see them is a warm welcome and sharing the happiness in seeing each other. The goodbye hug is little tight “I don’t want to let you go” kind of hug 😉 These are non-verbal ways of just telling “I care”

A random text in the middle of the day just to say hi. It may not be a long conversation but those couple of text lights up the day. It gives a feeling of I am not alone and I have someone who thinks of me between a busy day. Sure it gives a new energy for the day.

At the end of a tired day, that someone special handover us a cup of hot coffee that tastes just the way we want our coffee to taste is a true blessing.

Having someone who just plunges into action when they know we panicked or get into actions on something we are not very good at say like in a simple parking crisis. Having that one who is smart of things that we are not too smart at is just perfect.

Texting for no reason other than being in touch. Sometimes texting get monotonous over time but still not getting those routine texts from that one person seems like missing something in the day. we get those texts not just out of habit, it is just because we are in others thoughts.

Life is counted by the memories that we make. We don’t remember that expensive gifts that we received, but we do remember the relaxed evening at the coffee shop chatting with our loved ones. The time we spend with our loved ones is when we make memories. the most expensive gift one can give is their time and being fully present in that time away from all the gadgets distracting us.

The little things like these matter the most in anyone’s life. These little things touch our lives and make us feel loved, sometimes more special.