There are some situations in life where we feel guilty for things that are not actually our fault. Things happen out of no where making you feel guilty for it, but you actually have no control on what so ever that happened. This guilty feeling cannot be changed, we very well know that this is not our fault but still the guilt of it will keep haunting us.
Sometimes the decisions that we make in life for ourselves hurt our dear ones, we make decisions for our own happiness which maybe out of the social norms that the society has been following for years. One such decisions is the decision on getting married.
The Indian society is build on marriage , here a marriage is not a individual decision, it is a family decision. Chetan Bhagat in his book two states says in India for a marriage to happen, first a guy loves a girl, the Girl loves the boy , then the guy’s family has to love the girl, the girl’s family has to love the boy, then the boy’s family has to love the girl’s family, then if the girl and the boy still love each other they get married. This is mostly the situation in Indian families, its no wonder why India celebrate weddings so grand may be it is a victory celebration of the long process.
Every Indian parents dream is to get their kids married, they dream , they save and they spend all they have on their kids wedding. Marriage is not seen as a lifestyle here rather it is seen as life achievement. Parents think their kids have failed when they don’t get married. Even more, sometimes they blame themselves for their kids saying no to marriage life. They start thinking the kid decision of not getting married is because of their upbringing. They blame themselves and get depressed thinking of their kids future. In some situations parents get caught in the social norms and fail to see what really make their kid happy. They fail to notice that the kids decision is not because of negligence of life but it is more of a choice of their own happiness.
when a guys chooses not to marry, he is filled with guilt of letting his parents down though there is not need for any guilt in choosing his own future. This guilt is something he will carry all his life for not fulfilling the parents wishes. Each time when the parent come home looking worried after attending a wedding, he knows what is going on in their mind but could not say a word to console them. The guilty feeling of making the parent worry fills him. Each time seeing the parents play with a kid and having a feeling of not having grandkids to play with , each time a wedding invitation reaches home, each time someone asks them why their kid is not yet married, each time they see a happy couple of their kids age, each time when their kids friend visits with his family, each time when the society tell them getting their kid married is their life goal parents loose their cool and get worried. They genuinely worry about the kids future, all they need is a family for him to take care of him when they are gone. Each time when the kid sees his parents worried that guilt gets in his mind. No one understands the guilty feeling that kid has when he sees his parents worried about him. Though he is completely capable of taking care of him and parents failing to see what really makes him happy.
No one should feel guilty for choosing his own life, each ones life journey is different and we cannot keep fulfilling each ones dreams for us. The only thing we can do is to live a happy life so that the world know we have no regrets in our own decisions.