Joy of being an Uncle

There is a pure joy in being an uncle. A beautiful relationship with a kid whom you love with all your heart. Being an uncle is a gift getting to know a kid right from its birth and being a part of the kids life as the kid grows. Uncle gets to spoil the kid with gifts and shower the kid with love. Basically being a person who allows the kids to do some crazy stuff which the parent does not allow and of course the stuff which does not hurt the kid.

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The uncle usually gets to enjoy the happy kid most of the time, all the crying are for the parents. Being an uncle is being the baby sitter sometimes. The time the kid gets to enjoy a no restriction time of their parents. An uncle is a good story teller, as a kid i enjoyed all the story time with my uncle. Most of my Indian mythology stories are those which I heard from my uncle.

Uncles place is always a fun place to go, where you can stay awake all night and eat fast food all day. Being an uncle to kid has to be the kids good friend and be his support system for life. Be an uncle who is always there for the kid and be present for the kid when the kids needs the uncle.

Everything changes with Time!

It’s sometimes strange how some relationships turn around in life. Most of us would have had an unexpected twist in relationships, whether it been friendship, love, family. Everyone changes with time and relationships changes as people involved changes.

We would have seen close friendships fade away with time and busy life. The person who was once the love of life is now just someone you used to know. Close siblings become rivals. On the other side, there are also relationships that grow over time. A  person you meet online becomes a big part of life or the rival sibling grows close as they grow old. we just don’t know how the relationship will turn into future.

We lose friendship mostly because we get busy with life. One of the most first relationships that a person forms with the society are with his friends. Everyone would have had a close friend in his school or college days, the one person who was there throughout the school or college days in every fun and every trouble. The friends who were inseparable through the school days would have lost track when they moved out to a different college. Life gets busy and the communication with the old friends just fades out and finally, we lose track. That is just how life works. But a good friendship will not die. It just lives fresh forever even though the friends don’t communicate for years. When the friends really care for each other, they don’t lose track, just the communication between them gets lesser. They stay informed about the each other’s life, they know what is going on with each other, just that they don’t speak daily. Even after years without communication they can pick the phone and start where they left off, that is the real power of friendship.

Basically, the communications keep persons close, men being a social animal needs other men to survive. Men may have moved from caves to modern cities but his instincts still remain the same. Never hesitate to make a phone call to a long lost friend, friends don’t need a reason to call each other. Friends don’t have egos and they don’t keep tab of counting who always makes the call or who always calls first. so just pick up the phone and dial the number of a long lost friend whom you miss! For sure you would be happy you did it!

 

Being fully present

Have you ever felt you are distant from the person very next to you? Have you ever felt you know more information of a person miles away than the one who is physically next to you? All this modern day communication have lead us to this thoughts. we stay connected to persons far away, in the same time we are losing touch with the persons around us.

When we were kids we always found each other, we rode bikes to meet friends and did not make an appointment to see them. When we made plans to meet we mostly stuck to it because letting the others know you are ditching then was hard. Even when we met at a crowded fair we somehow found each other without the mobile phones. Are we losing some human power with all the modern communication in place?

Nowadays no one is alone at the dinner table. There is no couples dinner anymore. We always reserve a place for our mobile phones on the table. It’s just a couple having dinner with each other and their mobile phones. How interesting the conversation might be when the phone beeps, we become curious to know why it beeped and the conversation losses interest at that point. It’s been more of looking into the phones rather than looking at the person before us.

Are we forgetting to live the moment with the mobile phones? Nowadays when we see a beautiful sunrise, the first thing we do is to reach for our mobile phones to capture the beauty. We are more interested in seeing the sunrise through a lens rather than enjoying it through our eyes. At kids dance recital we could see most parents are busy capturing the event in camera and they forget to enjoy their kids’ performance. When I was a kid we had a photographer whose main job is to capture the event in his camera and the parents sat back and enjoyed the kids dancing. With all the modern cameras now everyone is a photographer.

I have never seen any of my kinder garden stages performances videos. Have seen a few photos of it. My memory of it was how my mom used to describe her memory of my performance. She remembers clearly each move of the dance and how cute I looked with the makeup. , it is all because she was there enjoying her kid’s performance and capturing the scene in her memory rather than in her camera.

Let us put our mobiles phones down and be present with our friends and partners. Let us enjoy each others company without being disturbed by the beeping of the mobile phone. Let us take the time to look into the person’s eyes and feel the conversation we are having with each other.

Friendzone- The yellow light.

Some relationships in life will not always go the way we wanted, whether it is a simple relation with a neighbour next door or with a friend or with the someone special in life. There is a time in each relationship where one feels neglected or mistreated. The better way to solve all the problem is with an open mind conversation. The conversation is better when both people sit down with the mind of ending the differences rather than just to have a talk. Limited the number of people the better the conversation goes.

If we see a love relationship as the traffic signal, the green for a love relationship and red for no relationship. There is this yellow where you can decide on whether to drive fast to cross the traffic lights or just stop at the traffic. The only difference here is the decision to make because in every relationship there is only one traffic signal and the lights get off once the decision is made. The best part is once you decide the red, you have to take a different route altogether if you decide to cross the yellow light, the traffic light may turn red or if you are lucky to green. But you never know which colour the light is going to change.

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Sometimes you see a person and feel the positive vibes of a good connection with them. Luckily you get to know them better and with time they become a special person in life or just you feel they are special to you. Become good friends, you hang out with them often and you really enjoy having them around. You know you are falling for them and even try to express it in a more subtle way when you are around them. They are most aware of what is going on ( least you think so! ) and does not react the way you want them to. The situation here could be anything from wrong communication to being friend zoned.

You cannot just get out of such relationships so easy. The only way to go ahead here is to communicate or verbalise your feeling for them. Even then this can take make or break the relationship altogether. If they also have the same feeling for you and just not sure of what other thinks then communicating will take the relationship to a new path. In the dark side when you express your feeling and they don’t want the same things as you do then it could end up in the disaster of losing that person for life.

You might have a million thoughts going through in your head in deciding how to get out of this friend zone in the relationship. Relationships are always two-way. The love and affection should flow both ways for a happy relationship. It cannot be just you having all the feeling and the person on the other side is cool being just friends. It totally depends on how deep is your feeling for the other. There is a humungous change of misreading the other when you develop feelings. You might take everything that comes your way as a good sign to support your feeling but that could have just been a kind gesture. So better get clarified.

At times the yellow light seems perfectly fine. You are allowed all the friends and more privileges here, you can be that over-caring friend. You can still hang out with each other or just two of you and enjoy each others company. You can enjoy having that special person around you. You get to voice out your mind with a friends tone! Sometimes when we are not very sure about the others feelings and does not want to break or lose it all, being friend zoned is not a bad thing. The best thing about this yellow light is that you can always test the waters before getting a plunge.

Relationships are hard but worth every effort you put into it. It is a great feeling that someone cares for you not because they made you, they care just because they like you the way you are! The only thing with the relationship is the never ending effort it requires but those are the not too hard if you get a person who is worth loving every day and you are lucky if that special person makes you feel loved the same way you love them.

 

It is all about making time

Time is one of the most precious aspects of life. We all have limited time on earth and its the one thing we know for sure, we should take most care in how we spent our time. Time is one perishable good that we often let go wasted without realising it.

We waste out time things we don’t like or spend time on doing things we don’t enjoy.  It is mostly like spending more time at work, working on unrealistic deadlines,  or being in a relationship that does not make us happy. We are not spending time usefully when we are not happy with what we do.

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We always come up with an excuse we don’t have time, but actually, we make up that excuse for things we don’t give a priority for.  Most of the time if we are working more than the stipulated office hours, it basically means we lack smart work. Or we are accepting more task than what we could be done within the working hours. We should learn to say no often when we know saying yes costs us more time.

When someone says they have no time to workout it is just because they don’t make time for it. No one it too busy, it is all just bad time management. We should learn to prioritize our things so we could make time for all that really matters.

Everyone is given the equal time of twenty-four hours a day when some find time to do all their heart wishes, there are others who just don’t find enough time to eat amidst their busy work schedule. We should understand that the schedule is made to help us manage our time and not to tie up with work all the time.

It is always said life is all about priorities, we always make time for things that matters to us. The Time management is one of the most important qualities that everyone needs to have. Once we know how to manage our time and make time for things that really matters to us, we would be more happy and peaceful.

We all know time does not stop or wait for anything in this world. Let’s try to make our little time in this world count just by spending time on doing things that bring a big smile on our faces and freeze such time as beautiful memories in our hearts.

 

A beautiful friendship I lost!

Friendship is a wonderful feeling, we don’t plan on being friends it just happens. It is said the friendship we make in college lasts for the lifetime. The college time is a time where we are carefree and have nothing to worry about. All worries about the future start at the last year though. The friendships made in college either stays strong for life or leave a mark in the heart.

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It was one such friendship that just happened immediately. We attached so instantly that we were inseparable after the first meeting. I just happened to walk over to my friend’s room and ran into Prabu. He was my friend’s new roommate. We started talking and very soon learned he was on the same course as me. There was an immediate connection.

The next morning when I was about to leave for class, I just walked over to his room to see whether I could get a company to walk the way to the class. He was in his room getting clothed and I waited till he was ready and we walked to the class. That’s how it all started, after that day, I never walked into the class without him on my side. We always sat beside each other in the class. He was very good in multitasking. He could listen to the lectures, take notes and carry out a conversation with me all at the same time. while I would very busy in the conversation with him during the lectures.

After the first week, he switched room to become my roommate in the hostel. We became so close to each other. We had breakfast, lunch, and dinner together every day. He was a quick learner and a very good sportsman. He was damn good at all the sports he played. He had a good heart too, he would be the first one to run to help a person in need. He was one of the most liked boys of hostel and college. He was so loving and caring. He got me at my best and the worst. He was able to understand my mind even before I uttered a word. He was the one I trusted with all my secrets. We used to talk a lot and he almost knows every story of my life at that point and I knew his.

We shared so many memories together. He always motivated me and believed in me more than I ever did. It’s because of his support and motivation I was able to take up some big responsibilities at the department level in college. He had big dreams for me, he always wanted me to crack some good software company interview and be placed in a good job. Evidently which I did accomplish and he was not around to see the moment.

It was our final semester at the degree program and we were supposed to do some industrial training as part of the curriculum. When the whole of our class chose to do the training in Chennai, I got an internship at my brother’s company in Bangalore. He and other friend got an internship in Bangalore. It was good to have him in the same city I was in. Though days changed and we spent most of the time apart, we met every evening. I used to take a bus which was a little longer route and met him for dinner every night. We used to share about our day and talk about everything we could think of. Those were happy days.

One fine day, he called me to tell that he was feeling so tired and weak, that he was taking a few days off and going to his parents. Those were the early days of mobile phones in India, where the cell reception was not available in every city. After that call, he left to his parents. We were not in constant touch as the mode of communication was a problem due to bad cell reception at his parents. We got to talk once in two weeks or so. By this time our internship was over and we were in our job hunting. He went to his parents and met with the doctor as he was feeling so tired day by day.

I was not aware of his health condition and it seems he was getting worse every day. We only used to talk on the phone and he always said he was just fine and enjoying his rest. I did not expect him to have a life-threatening illness at that point. Months passed and I was only aware of what he said about himself and his health. He never said anything so serious. Finally, one day learned he was admitted to a hospital in Chennai from his little brother.

I went to the hospital to see him with our friends and he was not the person I have seen in college. He had lost a lot of weight and had lost a lot of hair. From the hospital nurses, we learned that he had cancer and he was in his final stages. It was heartbreaking news when I learned it. My friends and I were heartbroken, some of the friends even started to wet their eyes. At that moment we decided to spend as much a the time we could with him. My friends and I went to visit his at the hospital daily, used to spend a couple of hours with him. Even when the drips and blood been injected into his body he was pretty active and listened to what I talked to him. Those twenty days were so hard to see him like that, a guy whom I have seen winning matches in the field was losing his life to cancer.

One afternoon I received a call from his little brother saying he passed away. I was stunned and shocked. Though my brain knows this day would come my heart was not able to accept it. Though I felt a relief, I thought it was good for him at least now he was free from all the pain his body was going through. At his funeral, most of our friends broke down to tears. I was mostly trying to control my tears. I thought I am not going to slip away all his memories through my tears. It’s all his memories I had left of him. To say I was angry with him for doing this to me. The thoughts I had that time was so weird when I think of it now.

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I did cry my eyes out on the day I received my joining order of my job at the software concern he dreamed for me. His loss hit me so bad, that I started losing hope in friendships. I avoided making new friends for about 2 years. I tried to hold close to the friends I had left. But time heals things. Time did not make me forget him, it just taught me to live without his friendship. He just became a part of my every password. Each time I type in a password I remember him and till day miss him badly. It made me understand there was no use to stay mad at him. It made me appreciate the time I had with him and treasure all the memories I have of him.

When a person passes away we are only left with the memories of them. Those memories become our treasure. I am glad I have a ton of memories with him and will always cherish those for life.

A shattered American dream

It is a dream of every Indian working in the IT industry to get to the USA and settle there. I did get a chance to experience the American dream in my life. America, the land of dreams welcomed me through an onsite opportunity through my employer.

I flew to America on an H1B visa. I still remember the night of my flight, my friends visited me to wish me luck, my whole family came to send me off. My mom had tears sending me off to the immigration at the Airport. I was thrilled about my future and bit worried about what I am leaving back in India.

I landed in the USA with a lot of dreams, my friends came to receive me at the airport. It was not much struggle settling in as I had my friends and colleagues helping me with it. Life was suddenly so easy, in spite of working long hours and overnight calls with offshore, I seemed to enjoy the new place.

With lots of travels around the country and exploring it, I was seeing more of the world. Life was good. The USA gave me new experiences from cooking my own food to owning my own car. When everything was going well for almost a two years, all of a sudden I was asked to leave to India by my IT firm for some revenue reasons.

Being on H1B and already have served two years in the USA, I had options of choosing to leave the company which brought me to the USA and look for the local employment opportunity. I started looking and luckily got an offer with a local company, switched jobs so that I could stay in the USA. Little did I know at that stage that things are going to be different.

Applied for my new Visa with the new firm, the thing in the USA is one can start working with a new firm applying for your visa even before the visa transfer is complete and the visa transfer takes more than 6 months in the normal process mode. So I start working with the new firm.

Things were smooth, there was less work in the new firm and more time to spare. Meanwhile my parents start looking for a bride for me, they find one and get me engaged (that’s how an arranged marriage works 😉 ).  Then there comes the news, USA rejects my visa transfer saying some documentation error to describe the job I applied for.

That was a big setback, till with all friends to backup, applied for my visa again with a new firm. Then after a six-month my visa was rejected again for some missing documentation. Both time I had hired an attorney to handle my case, not sure how some documentation error happens. The shock was big the second time and I know this time, my time in the land of opportunities has come to an end.

All my dreams shattered when I heard the visa rejection for the second time. I was forced to go back to India. Sold all that I owned there in the USA and booked my flight back to my own country. The 24 hours flight time was the most confused I have ever been in my life. I was engaged to a girl at that point and landing back home with no job in hand, not sure what will be my future.

Lucky for me, I had a good amount saved when I worked in the USA. So I was able to manage myself till I got a job. Eventually, I got a good job after 3 months search. Those three months were pretty hard moments of my life. Have to answer all the family members and relatives. Got my engagement canceled as I lost my USA privilege. Pretty hard time.

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But thinking back all those now, I realize those all moments have made me stronger. It made me more confident. Gave me a boost in life, now I know I can face whatever my life throws at me. It also made me realize what I missed in India and now this experience has made myself to appreciate my country even more.