The Loss

The loss of a loved one does not get better with time, the wound it leave behind does not heal, we just learn to live with the pain. We try hard to forget the wound but every time the wound gets a little hit by the memory we feel a sharp pain, which we try to ignore by going on with life.

The loss of my uncle recently was one such wound that, I know would haunt me for life. Though I was not close to him, loosing him all of a sudden came as a shock. He the first one to go too soon in our close family circle. He was not old enough to die, his death came as a shock to the whole family.

The moment I head his death news my brain froze, I got on my bike to see my aunt is the very next thing I did. I was riding the bike, my brain is not working. Finally when I reached his house I realised I have taken the longest route possible to get there and not sure why I did it ! I am well aware of the shortest route but my brain did not function enough to get the shortest route. I got there just in time when his body arrived from he hospital and he was laid down in the bench. All I could feel was him sleeping and nothing more. I well know he is gone but my mind is not in the state to accept it.

I could see my aunt crying, the aunt who used to be fun and very caring. One of my favourite aunt and the one we used to tease a lot. Seeing her cry caused a deep pain in the heart. Its something that cannot be explained. I was feeling sorry for her more than my uncle gone at that moment.

I could see my cousin who was struggling with all his strength to stay strong for his mom who was devastated. More than the sorrow of loosing his dad, he had a anger on his dad for putting off from seeing a doctor earlier. He was more angry than being sad. He was collecting all his strength and controlling his tears, waiting for his brother to come. I was there witnessing him in his great loss in life. I had no words to console him or even to talk to him. All I was able to do was to stand there beside him and just watch.

As all the relations and friends arrive they began talking of the loss and about the dead. That in no way ease the pain but help to vent out the emotions helping us to retain the good memories with him. All I could was to feel sorry for my aunt, who had her whole life around her family. Now her biggest pillar of strength gone and she was left alone to face the world. I understand she has her sons to her support yet losing her husband was no match.

As my uncle was cremated the next day, all I could think was how short the human life is. A man with whom I was having a talk a week earlier is now gone and we were there doing his final rites. As he was burning to ashes all I had in mind was life is short and it is too short to live with regrets.

A thought of getting my parents a medical check up asap passed to my mind while my brother uttered those words loud to me.

I was sorry for my aunt, for her loss. I met her a month later, she is learning to live with her loss. In India they have a bad custom of dress code for a widow as no bindi , no flowers , no colours clothings. My aunt when i met her was dress as herself, in a beautiful pink saree, with her bindi and flowers decorating her hair. I was so happy to see her that way. I have seen her like that always and she has chosen to be the same. By choosing so she is breaking odd customs and now I love her even more for she choosing her to be herself.



The love I am waiting for <3

Everyone deserves love and every one feel love in a different way.  There are different ways people express their love, it differs from person to person. Everyone’s love language is different. A happy couple understands each other’s love language and communicates love in the way their partners can understand.

Everyone feels love a different way, some like to shower their significant other with the physical expression of love, some will express with words, some with gifts, some with caring way too much and more ways. It’s really a gift to get a partner who knows how to love you and loves you the way you feel loved. Everyone dreams for a perfect partner in life but not everyone gets their dreams true, we try and learn to love the person in their own way of love.


Here is it is going to be just my own dreams of love I want in life. The Kind of love that I wish I could have in life.

I don’t wish I could have a love like in romantic movies or novels, those are almost the love at first sight, falling so deep for a person the moment you see them happens only in movies. For me, love evolves. I expect love to grow each day when you are with that special person, it is always the little things that people do for each other brings them closer. Just like friendship, love has to grow between people to be strong enough to withstand all the challenges in life.

I want a love which is strong enough to know that everyone is imperfect in their own perfect way and love each other with those imperfections. Maybe even adore those imperfections sometimes, because those imperfections are also a part of the personality of the person that truly makes them what they are.

I want a love which understands and encourages to pursue life dreams. The love that serves to be the building blocks of our own selves. The love that encourages to go forward in life and be the light in dark times of life. The love that lets you know it is okay to fail and be there to catch you when you fall and urges you to stand up and keep going for the fight again, to pursue what you started.

I want a kind of love where sharing a dead silence with the each other makes perfect sense same as pouring the heart out. A kind of love where I can just get lost in the eyes that look at me with love, the pair eyes that speaks a special language to each other even across a crowded room. The kind of love that understands each other’s minds even without spoken words.

I want a kind of love that shares my dreams and goals of life and willing to go through all the struggles of life for it together and be there to enjoy the victories of the struggle. A kind of love where there are no judgements but love for who you really are. A kind of love that can see you at your best and at the worst, and still love you the same.

A kind of love who will be each others number one fan, cheering each other in life and enjoying the journey of life. A kind of love that stands up for you on your behalf especially at the time when you cannot do it yourself. The love that knows the worth of you and so as theirs. The love that gets excited for your victories as it was their own. The love whose only motive is your happiness and success.


Finally the one with glowing eyes which sparkles the moment it sees you, the magic smile that makes you forget the whole world when you see it,the one who gives those butterflies in your stomach, the one who can give the most comforting hugs, the one who knows how you like your coffee and makes it the exact same way, the one who is always excited to see you.

The Love who will be my best friend and a pure MAGIC in life 🙂


Trip to Goa

A long awaited trip with friends finally happened last Feb 2017. We always just end up planning trips when we get together and those just get passed as plans that never come into action. Somehow the Goa plan passed the planning stage to get real.

It all started with just a funny message in the WhatsApp group, and to my surprise, guys started to respond positively this time. without wasting time my roomie and I got to act in booking the tickets. That was the first step, with tickets being booked things began to fall in place for an epic travel adventure.

With each trip we learn a lot about the people and the new place, we get to learn our travel partners closer. A party of 6 en route to Goa. We took a train from Chennai to Bangalore and flew to Goa from there. It was our first travel adventure outside our state, so we were excited and happy that a plan finally came true. It was a long night travel with so much excitement and conversations and very little sleep. Finally, we landed in Goa.

We have already booked our stay, so when we got down we proceeded to the place to get refreshed to start our adventure. Being the first time outside the state I understood that knowledge of other language does matter 😉 Luckily my friends spoke the local language so I was not in much trouble. We got to the apartment we had already booked, the owner was kind enough to accommodate us a couple of hours early than the check in time. It was a spacious apartment, the whole apartment building stood on a cliff facing a water body below. The view was spectacular, the swimming pool of the apartment was build in such a way on the tip of the cliff. Though we did not get the cliff side view of the apartment, it did not matter much as we hardly had time to stay in the apartment. The owner was kind and concerning. He helped us get the rental bike to roam around Goa. He also gave as information about the Goa election during our stay and Goa will be a dry state during the elections which meant no alcohol will be served during the election days. Goa being the Las Vegas of India, without alcohol will not be the usual self. On the upside, we will get to enjoy the less crowded Goa. Goa the party capital of India has cancelled a lot of its party due to the government’s alcohol restrictions on the days of our stay.


He also gave as information about the Goa election during our stay and Goa will be a dry state during the elections which meant no alcohol will be served during the election days. Goa being the Las Vegas of India, without alcohol will not be the usual self. On the upside, we will get to enjoy the less crowded Goa. Goa the party capital of India has cancelled a lot of its party due to the government’s alcohol restrictions on the days of our stay. so we got to enjoy a different Goa than what we expected.

The first day of our adventure started with us getting our rental bikes and starting to ride around the city. To be honest we were clueless as of where to start from. We decided on to visit old Goa. It was a long 25 km bike ride from our place. On the way, we were admiring some shore and got attracted by the dolphin’s boat ride, where they take you inside the ocean to watch dolphins. We decided to explore some dolphins and got into the boat, it was a pretty ride and we even got to see few dolphins. Then we rode to Old Goa, got to see an old church and we were tired because of the long bike rides. When we rode back to the apartment we were exhausted. That’s when we decided we got to find a better way to roam in Goa, the bikes were really making us tired. We had a minor issue that we have paid in full for the bikes for 4 days and one of my friends was against in wasting that money, anyway, the majority of the folks supported to find a better transportation and we ended up renting a self-driven car.


So we were supposed to get our car delivered to us around 11 am in the morning and when we got the car it was almost noon. We set for our adventure the next day only by noon and we had plans to explore the south Goa for the second day. It was a pretty long drive around 35km from our apartment. It was almost 3 pm when we reached the Palolem beach. We took a boat ride to an island there and we had some fun in the water. We did kayaking in the sea. It was a fun evening on the beach. On the way back we stopped at the Agonda Beach to see a beautiful sun set. We drove back to the apartment and stopped to have a taste of local Goa Cusine, which was nice.


The next day we started a little early and we picked up my cousin who was working in Goa. He was our tour guide for the day. We spotted the beautiful back waters of Goa on the drive and lucky enough to stop and admire its beauty.


It was a fun day, we drove to Arambol beach and it was a lovely beach. we had some fun in the sea and then we went to take a dip in the fresh water lake in the beach. We did paragliding and that was so much to experience Goa in a birds eyes view. Flying over the beach and the sea was a thrilling new experience for us. We had so much fun. We walked along the shore to the Keri beach on the other side of the cliff rocks. It was a fun and kind of dangerous walk. We walked on the rocks along the shore, it was kind of slippery and the waves were hitting the rocks that made it a little scary too. When we think now it was a fun memory.


Then we checked in to a local Goan Cusine for dinner and we got to taste the actual Goan food. Trying different cuisine is one thing that I always enjoy. Later that night we went to see the Goa night market, where we were told we get a different kind of goods, but what we learnt by ourselves is that the goods sold on the market were priced so high targeting the foreign customers of Goa. We got back to the apartment later that night after dropping off my cousin at his place. It was well into the early morning of 3 am we got home.

The next day was packed with fun. We already had our water sports package booked, so we started to our water adventure at Calangute beach. It was a complete water fun package with Jet skiing, speed boat ride, banana boat ride, bumper boat ride and parasailing. We were so excited for it. But we did not end up having so much fun as expected. The water sports package was more than disappointing. There was no proper response from the organisers and the boaters were asking for money. It was pathetic, Jet Skiing we were not allowed to drive, the banana and the bumper rides were so little distance that we did not even get to enjoy and the speed boat was not going to speed because they had kids on board. The only thing that was enjoyable was the para sailing and that too was not much. We paid a little extra for a longer time to be on the air. We managed to put aside this and tried to have fun with what we got. Later that evening we were supposed to get packed so we got to the apartment and went on to enjoy the pool on the cliff.


We got to enjoy a different Goa when most of the friends talk about Goa their stories mostly have clubbing and gambling at the casinos. Their stories definitely consist of alcohol and getting wasted in it.  As we got to go during the dry days we enjoyed the nature of Goa to the fullest. Goa Still has a lot to offer and with a limited time, we only got to see a very few of what Goa has to offer. Waiting to get the beautiful beaches of Goa once again to witness it splendidness again.

From what I experienced in Goa, it is not just the land of partying and clubbing. Goa has a beautiful nature and awesome sun set beaches. It has beautiful backwaters. It is a not only a place where party goers can enjoy, it is definitely a place where nature lovers can get lost in nature.

Little somethings from that someone special

Sometimes the ordinary day turns out to be one of a most treasured memory. We don’t plan anything but things just happen to make the day a treasured memory.  Someday you do nothing at all just spend all day at home, yet you feel so special about the day. It depends on with whom you spend the day at home with. Memories are not only made when you choose to have an adventure, it can also be made when you choose to be lazy with the special person by your side.


Some moments make you feel special, it can just be a thought that someone thinks of you. How special would you feel when your special person chose to text you at the stroke of midnight on your birthday. It would really be special if the text is from a person who rarely remembers the date! That text being the first text for the birthday really makes you feel so excited and special.

We know nowadays half the communication is done through SMS and WhatsApp. A great comfort with this mode of communication is that the person at the other end may choose to reply back or take his time to respond. Sometimes you know the person at the other end is stuck with a hell a lot of work, but you are just worried about them and decide to text. when that someone special decides to text you in the middle of his work crisis, that text not only brings you happiness but a special feeling of cared for. Sometimes a simple text in the middle of the day just to say hi from a special person makes the day feel brighter.


Birthdays are special, it becomes more special if your special person decides to spend the day with you. No big plans just the two of you hanging out together at your place. It becomes a treasured memory when you get your birthday cake made by that special person. Time spent with a person who you consider so special is always never enough.

It is not all the talking that counts, sometimes it is very less talking, you get comfortable with the silence between the two. Just having them around at the distance your eyes can cover is sometimes all you want. A movie with the special person where you don’t really talk is sometimes satisfactory.  Sometimes you want to pour out all, moments like holding a large coffee along with that someone special helps in that situation.

It is not the time that counts, it is the person whom you choose to spend the time with is what that really counts.

Joy of being an Uncle

There is a pure joy in being an uncle. A beautiful relationship with a kid whom you love with all your heart. A bond that you form with the kid from the moment you got to hold that tiny human in your hands.

Being an uncle is a gift getting to know a kid right from its birth and being a part of the kid’s life as the kid grows. Uncle gets to spoil the kid with gifts and shower the kid with love. Basically being a person who allows the kids to do some crazy stuff which the parent does not approve.95348e037bdd56f8bfe07a3f4f930b15The uncle usually gets to enjoy the happy kid most of the time, all the nagging cry and tantrums are for the parents. Uncle gets to enjoy the cute smiles and love hugs.

Being an uncle is getting a right to spoil the kids, an uncle can treat the kid with anything to eat as what their little heart desires. An Uncle can hand over a big bar of chocolate to the little kid and enjoy the show of how the little one gets chocolate all over its face and hands.

Being an uncle is being the baby sitter sometimes. The time the kid gets to enjoy a no restriction time of their parents. An uncle is a good story teller, as a kid, I enjoyed all the story time with my uncle. Most of my Indian mythology stories are those which I heard from my uncle.

Uncles can get them any gift they want, can buy them the loudest toy not worrying about to hear the sound of the toy all day at home. Can get the kid a drum set not worrying about the annoying music they are going to make in the initial days to follow. Just get the toy, enjoy the happy face of the kid and you can go back to the silence of your home.

Being an uncle means getting a chance to relive a childhood, getting down to play with the kid without being judged by others. we get to play all our childhood games again at least in the name of teaching the game to the kid. Get to attend all the school functions with no worry of getting the right angle in the camera, can just be there to enjoy the kid’s performance.

Being an uncle means being there always to listen to their problems and being a support to the kid as it grows. Initially, it is fun to see how a little heart trusts you and come to you with their little problems.

The best part of being an uncle is getting to enjoy love in its purest form. The love hugs for those little hands that could hardly hug you, the sweet kisses and the best smiles.

Everything changes with Time!

It’s sometimes strange how some relationships turn around in life. Most of us would have had an unexpected twist in relationships, whether it been friendship, love, family. Everyone changes with time and relationships changes as people involved changes.

We would have seen close friendships fade away with time and busy life. The person who was once the love of life is now just someone you used to know. Close siblings become rivals. On the other side, there are also relationships that grow over time. A  person you meet online becomes a big part of life or the rival sibling grows close as they grow old. we just don’t know how the relationship will turn into future.

We lose friendship mostly because we get busy with life. One of the most first relationships that a person forms with the society are with his friends. Everyone would have had a close friend in his school or college days, the one person who was there throughout the school or college days in every fun and every trouble. The friends who were inseparable through the school days would have lost track when they moved out to a different college. Life gets busy and the communication with the old friends just fades out and finally, we lose track. That is just how life works. But a good friendship will not die. It just lives fresh forever even though the friends don’t communicate for years. When the friends really care for each other, they don’t lose track, just the communication between them gets lesser. They stay informed about the each other’s life, they know what is going on with each other, just that they don’t speak daily. Even after years without communication they can pick the phone and start where they left off, that is the real power of friendship.

Basically, the communications keep persons close, men being a social animal needs other men to survive. Men may have moved from caves to modern cities but his instincts still remain the same. Never hesitate to make a phone call to a long lost friend, friends don’t need a reason to call each other. Friends don’t have egos and they don’t keep tab of counting who always makes the call or who always calls first. so just pick up the phone and dial the number of a long lost friend whom you miss! For sure you would be happy you did it!