Feeling Lost …

In eyes of others, I have a good life. When seen overall I don’t have much to complain about. Had a happy childhood, blessed with loving parents and caring siblings. Did my masters and have a decent paying job. A good circle of friends and a good social life. Still, I feel lost sometimes, feel life is boring and need something entertaining.


Life sometimes feels monotonous, though having a good time with friends often it feels like something is missing in life. It feels like life just goes on day by day without any purpose, it’s just eating, sleeping, working every day. Am I forgetting to live my life??

Different questions pop up in my mind, sometimes they make sense, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes I feel like been stuck with a boring job, but some days I love the challenge it gives me. I do have days where I walk into the office with full energy to face the challenge and love my work. Some day I don’t even get the mood to get ready for office. Are they just mood swings??

Someday it feels so fresh to pick up the camera and shoot beautiful images, some day looking through the lens is boring. Am I just being lazy?? Someday it feels like having a feast of the meal to eat, someday too bored even to eat. Someday in full mood to socialize and someday just avoid seeing people.

Have no idea why it feels so or what can be done to make it right. I don’t feel these feelings are wrong, as of now I just feel they are just the phase of life, one cannot live life all the time. Everyone has their ups and downs and mood swings. Just uncertain of why these thoughts happen and not sure of what needs to be done on these.

Certainly, cannot quit the job and go in search of life, Sometimes the mind thinks too much when it has too much of free time. The mind wanders and finally settles to dig into memories and reason out the bad ones( definitely not a good ). The easy way would be keeping myself busy and divert the mind from thinking all such nonsense. Build up new hobbies to keep occupied or even more interestingly get some interesting dates.

Or maybe it’s a feeling of loneliness in life. Boost up the love life, loneliness is not a reason to find love in life though. Maybe spending more time outdoors can help. Just make up the mindset to enjoy life as it comes and be happy with what is around. Love life and live life.



The little things that matter the most

It’s always the little things that matter the most. The little things that we do for others define us, that tells the others what kind of person we are and how much we value the other. These little things are the ones that we do without putting much thought into it.


Waking up to a good morning text from a loved one is one just example. The text would just read “Good Morning” but it means “you are one of the first things I think in the morning”. It just shows the one who sends the text remembers and care for us.

Sometimes it’s more than just what we do, it’s how we react. The genuine smile that lights up our face when we see our loved one or the cute smile that we see in our loved ones face when they spot us for the first time in the day.  That smile just lifts the mood of the day showing how they feel about seeing you.

The Hug that we share with the people we care, personally the hug when we see them is a warm welcome and sharing the happiness in seeing each other. The goodbye hug is little tight “I don’t want to let you go” kind of hug 😉 These are non-verbal ways of just telling “I care”

A random text in the middle of the day just to say hi. It may not be a long conversation but those couple of text lights up the day. It gives a feeling of I am not alone and I have someone who thinks of me between a busy day. Sure it gives a new energy for the day.

At the end of a tired day, that someone special handover us a cup of hot coffee that tastes just the way we want our coffee to taste is a true blessing.

Having someone who just plunges into action when they know we panicked or get into actions on something we are not very good at say like in a simple parking crisis. Having that one who is smart of things that we are not too smart at is just perfect.

Texting for no reason other than being in touch. Sometimes texting get monotonous over time but still not getting those routine texts from that one person seems like missing something in the day. we get those texts not just out of habit, it is just because we are in others thoughts.

Life is counted by the memories that we make. We don’t remember that expensive gifts that we received, but we do remember the relaxed evening at the coffee shop chatting with our loved ones. The time we spend with our loved ones is when we make memories. the most expensive gift one can give is their time and being fully present in that time away from all the gadgets distracting us.

The little things like these matter the most in anyone’s life. These little things touch our lives and make us feel loved, sometimes more special.

A shattered American dream

It is a dream of every Indian working in the IT industry to get to the USA and settle there. I did get a chance to experience the American dream in my life. America, the land of dreams welcomed me through an onsite opportunity through my employer.

I flew to America on an H1B visa. I still remember the night of my flight, my friends visited me to wish me luck, my whole family came to send me off. My mom had tears sending me off to the immigration at the Airport. I was thrilled about my future and bit worried about what I am leaving back in India.

I landed in the USA with a lot of dreams, my friends came to receive me at the airport. It was not much struggle settling in as I had my friends and colleagues helping me with it. Life was suddenly so easy, in spite of working long hours and overnight calls with offshore, I seemed to enjoy the new place.

With lots of travels around the country and exploring it, I was seeing more of the world. Life was good. The USA gave me new experiences from cooking my own food to owning my own car. When everything was going well for almost a two years, all of a sudden I was asked to leave to India by my IT firm for some revenue reasons.

Being on H1B and already have served two years in the USA, I had options of choosing to leave the company which brought me to the USA and look for the local employment opportunity. I started looking and luckily got an offer with a local company, switched jobs so that I could stay in the USA. Little did I know at that stage that things are going to be different.

Applied for my new Visa with the new firm, the thing in the USA is one can start working with a new firm applying for your visa even before the visa transfer is complete and the visa transfer takes more than 6 months in the normal process mode. So I start working with the new firm.

Things were smooth, there was less work in the new firm and more time to spare. Meanwhile my parents start looking for a bride for me, they find one and get me engaged (that’s how an arranged marriage works 😉 ).  Then there comes the news, USA rejects my visa transfer saying some documentation error to describe the job I applied for.

That was a big setback, till with all friends to backup, applied for my visa again with a new firm. Then after a six-month my visa was rejected again for some missing documentation. Both time I had hired an attorney to handle my case, not sure how some documentation error happens. The shock was big the second time and I know this time, my time in the land of opportunities has come to an end.

All my dreams shattered when I heard the visa rejection for the second time. I was forced to go back to India. Sold all that I owned there in the USA and booked my flight back to my own country. The 24 hours flight time was the most confused I have ever been in my life. I was engaged to a girl at that point and landing back home with no job in hand, not sure what will be my future.

Lucky for me, I had a good amount saved when I worked in the USA. So I was able to manage myself till I got a job. Eventually, I got a good job after 3 months search. Those three months were pretty hard moments of my life. Have to answer all the family members and relatives. Got my engagement canceled as I lost my USA privilege. Pretty hard time.


But thinking back all those now, I realize those all moments have made me stronger. It made me more confident. Gave me a boost in life, now I know I can face whatever my life throws at me. It also made me realize what I missed in India and now this experience has made myself to appreciate my country even more.

Being loved!

Everyone has to experience the feeling of being the world to someone. Everyone has to feel loved. Love gives confidence to conquer our dreams, be a better person and most importantly give back love to the world around you. There are different forms of love that we experience in different stages of life.


The first love is the one we experience from our mom, the one soul that fell in love with you even before you were born. A mom’s love gives the kid the strength to believe in himself and that love forms the base of life. A screaming kid gets calm just reaching into the arms of the mom is the perfect example of the secure feeling that a love can provide.

The love from dad gives the kid a feeling of being protected. Every dad is a kid’s hero. There is a special kind of love only a dad can give the kid, that love inspires the kid to excel and wants the kid to make his dad proud of him. All those bear hugs means so much to each kid.

The siblings love, not everyone gets this in life. Gifted are the people who have siblings, they are the persons who always watch out for you and ready to help you pick up yourself when you fall. Its the kind of love that teaches support. There is an old saying which says when you have a brother you have an army to your support.

The love that friends share is one of its kind. There will be a lot of laughter, teasing yet there will be trust. The friendship is where everyone learns to trust the other. Love among two people that is platonic and there is a true caring for each other is friendship. In my own opinion friendship is most like the romantic love relationship except that romance been replaced with bromance.

A loving romantic relationship is where one gets to experience the secure feeling of being cared for, the support of  a sibling and the trust of friendship. Its a package with all kinds of love one gets to experience in life time. A warm feeling of being loved gives one strength to conquer the world. This is where one gets to experience being the world to someone. A right partner can be a mom, dad, sibling and the best friend. This is the relationship that comes throughout the life.

Gifted are the person who gets to experience all these love in life. Love is the base of life and its the only reason the life exists in this world. Lets give as much as love possible back to the world and never miss a chance to show our loved ones how much they mean to us. Spreading love can make this world a better place to live in! Lets just make this world better with love.

Home alone after a while ;)

Its kind of fun to have my roomies parents spend a week at our place. Though the routine and space is little invaded, I still compromise because of the delicious home cooked meal his mom cooks during their stay.

I get to wakeup to the fresh smell of coffee each day during their stay. Get hot breakfast ready on the table by the time I get dressed for work. Can get home to delicious dinners. The rooms are always clean and the house looks perfect. All of these comes with a lot of free advices and questions with why are you still single 😉

Having parents over is kind of fun but after two or three days with them I start to miss my own space. Being in a two bedroom apartment, when a parent visits I share my room with my roomie to get a bedroom for the guests comfortable stay. This means I have to share my bed with my roommate.

The first thing I miss during their stay is not having all my bed to myself. Though it is a king size bed, I miss my space in my bed. Then being forced to wear shirt all time inside the house, miss being in my boxers and in this hot summer its pretty tuff. Then its the TV privileges, have to watch the channels that guests are comfortable with.

By the end of a week, I kind of miss my space. So when they have left to town and my roomie too gone with them, I enjoy having the whole place to myself. Today spend all day in my boxers watching my favourite channels on TV. Enjoyed my whole bed rolling all over it and sleeping. With loud music playing and singing along with it, enjoying my new found freedom of today.  No one to question you and no one to care about, enjoying the perks of living alone.

Though I enjoy my freedom, I don’t think I can do it for long. By the end of the day I have already started feeling an emptiness in the house. When I switch off my stereo and tv there is a silence which I wanted a couple of days before, but now I kind of not liking it after having it for a day. Eating lunch all alone is not fun, and cooking for a single person is not so fun.

Hopefully my roommate will be back by tomorrow and I can have some noise in the house again 🙂

What makes a perfect date?

We all would have or had that one person in life who means the world to us, the one’s smile that has the power to forgive all the anger we had on them. A time with such a person is always a memorable one.

After a busy day at work just getting to see that special person and having a coffee with them really takes the stress of the day. The cute smile that you see on their face in moment that they spot you among the crowd is a real stress buster. Getting to a coffee shop, ordering the favourite mocha or latte and getting comfortable in the couch with that special person is a awesome feeling. Then you start chatting the sweet nothing, it doesn’t matter what but being with that special person makes up for all the flaws of that day.

Catching up a evening movie with that special person does count as a quality time, doesn’t it? Be it any genre of movie, sitting closely to that one special person is all that counts. If you are lucky to choose a theatre with couches for couple then its really special. Sitting closely, hand in hand and catching up the movie is a perfect date for a movie lover. The Popcorn tub, rightly  flavoured and both sharing it. The sandwich which one ordered and the other wants a bite of it makes the movies more interesting. Even the after movie discussion of the movies gives a brief idea on each others taste.

A leisure walk on a warm evening along the sea shore with the special person sounds romantic. Walking side by side along the shore with water touching the feet is a great way to spend the evening. The sweet nothing talks on the walk will always be remembered. Snacking on the shore is way nicer than a restaurant.

On a lazy day you ditch work to be with that special person, spending all day by their side doing nothing but laying by each other and watching some silly movies or doing some online shopping sounds fun. Trying to cook together or trying to setup the new stereo that you bought recently, no matter what you do with them, all it counts is being with that special person.

Don’t get the moments likes these slip away, always make time to have some special moments with that special person! It’s not the place you go with that special person counts, its the moments you both are truly in, is what counts for life 🙂



Mobile phones off the table please…..

Mobile phones are supposed to bring us close but is that what the device does ??? I would say NO!!!

The mobile phones brings us close to a person at distance making us forget the person who is just sitting next you in the very same table. I would just share my personal experiences here….

Gang of office colleague went out for lunch to a small restaurant, not far off but a walking distance from office. We get into the elevator and the first thing we do is reach for our mobile phones. We check the little devices even if it shows no notifications. we get down to the road and start walking as few are still glued to the mobile phones, few talking. we get to the restaurant, get our table and start chatting. This time every one have the mobile phones in their hands and some does the chatting multitasking with going through the mobile phones. The chatting fades away as every one gets involved into the little screens, suddenly one realise that we are all sitting at the same table and looking into our mobile phones…. he makes a comment about it and everyone laughs and get back to the screens. Though this situation has reduced the office gossips(which is more fun 😉 ) still this is not the reason we got out to have a Friday lunch. The lunch arrives at the table and there is still one or two persons who are glued to the mobile phone screen during the entire lunch session. I wanted to say “Mobile phones off the table please….” but my phone just beeped !!!